This is my second installment of the Top Ten for Summer. It’s almost August! Summer is almost over!!
My list this week is: Top Ten Things I’m Sick of Saying.
- “No. It’s NOT time to eat! It’s 9:30 a.m. At least wait until 11 for lunch.” Why does this happen EVERY DAY. The rules NEVER change. Yet, I get asked this question constantly. Apparently, I’m starving my children. Just as I wrote this, my son came up and said, “I see lunchtime on the screen, can we eat now?” Never should have taught them how to read.
- “STOP FIGHTING!” I’m going to set up a ring in my backyard and let them “solve” their issues the old-fashioned way.
- “Shut the DOOR!” This actually isn’t me. I’m just really tired of hearing my husband say this over and over again. “We’re not paying to air condition the outside!” and “You’re letting all the flies in!”, go along with this as well. For some reason, this is a difficult concept for my children to remember.
- “You HAVE to take a bath! The top of your feet are a different color than the bottoms. It’s time to see what’s under the dirt.” Bleh. My poor bath. They leave a brown ring every time.
- “Put your shoes on!” I get it. Summer= shoes optional. However, this does not mean you can go barefoot into Target. They frown on that. Especially when your feet resemble what I described in #4.
- “Please get dressed. At least put on PANTS!” Morgan will wander this house in her underwear for WEEKS if we don’t tell her to get dressed. I guess this summer schedule is too relaxed.
- “Stop grossing me out!” The other day, this was a conversation I overheard in the back of my car while I was driving the twins to the store: Morgan: “Hey Declan! Guess what I’m eating?” Declan: “Is it candy?” Morgan: “Nope! It’s a booger!” They both laugh, then 2 minutes later I hear: Declan: “Morgan, guess what I’m eating?” Morgan: “Is it a booger?” Declan: “Nope! I’m chewing on a toenail!” They both start laughing again. If you ever thought having twins was a cute adventure, think again.
- “No. A tornado isn’t going to come and blow you away.” Thanks to my son Evan, and his desire to be a storm chaser, all my kids are a little obsessed with Tornadoes. However, to them, every single thunderstorm we get here, holds a tornado just waiting to take them away. We get a LOT of storms here. That’s a LOT of opportunities for them to fly away. I used to love storms. Now I dread the sound of thunder, because it means I have to dig out my prepared speech about how they will not be sucked up by a tornado.
- “CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES!” No, there is no magical fairy that cleans up when you go to school. Now that it’s summer, you can see how you contribute to the disaster we call home.
- “Please, leave me alone for 5 minutes!” Yes, I know I’m here with you ALL summer. Every single minute of every single day. It’s pretty neat that I get this opportunity. However, sometimes I need just 5 minutes to breath. Or pee in peace. In those 5 minutes, I don’t want to play with you, I don’t want to “just watch this one thing” or even listen to who touched who first. I just want 5 minutes of PURE PEACE and QUIET. In this house, you would think I was asking for World Peace. At least my bathrooms have locks.