I enjoy summer. I really do. However, this past week has been BLAZING hot. I think we hit 116 heat index the other day. I started thinking about how much I’ll miss this heat when it’s in the negatives this winter, but I’m not sure this is the type of heat I’ll miss.
I decided that this was a good moment to share my top 10 reasons to hate summer:
- June Bugs, Japanese Beetles, and Cicadas. June Bugs slap against your face during quiet bonfire nights. Japanese Beetles COVER all the plants and eat them all and Cicadas leave their giant shell carcasses stuck to the outdoor furniture only so I can freak out when I accidentally touch one.
- Swoob and Swamp-ass. There’s just not enough spray deodorant to go around. Seriously, I hate the feeling of sweat dripping down between my boobs, filling my padded bra (which I have because I appreciate all the help I can get), and having to walk around with what feels like a water bra. I could wring that thing out after a walk outside. It was so hot the other day, after walking to the store, I realized I had a sweat-stache’ beaded up on my upper-lip area. Good God. Someone help me.
- Shaving my legs. Don’t get me wrong. I love having soft, smooth legs. But, I don’t really need it every day. Really. I just don’t care. However, forget a few days, then go outside wearing shorts because it’s so damn hot and *POOF* everyone comments on how they could braid your leg hair. (Ok, I promise it wasn’t *that* bad, but it was noticeable).
- Summer Vacation at home with 3 kids. Send. Help. Please.
- My leather seats. Who’s dumb idea was it to buy a black car with black leather interior? Nothing like forgetting about having bare legs and feeling that searing heat cook naked skin.
- Cooking or Baking, Anything. I love to cook. And when I’m craving something, I love to bake. But when the sun becomes a fiery ball of death in the sky that sends licks of flames down to my house, considering even turning on the oven is a death sentence. Although, raw brownie batter, here I come!
- Sun set at 9p.m. Yes, it’s nice when this happens and you feel like you get to enjoy longer days. But when you want your day to be shorter, and decide to go to bed early one night, I don’t need the sun telling me what I already know. “Yes, I get it, Sun. It’s 8p.m. I should be out doing something productive or enjoying the evening, but I’m tired. Give up already.” The winter doesn’t try to embarrass me. It just shuts the world down at 5p.m. whether you want to go to bed early or not.
- Mosquitos. I almost put them with the rest of the bugs in #1, but they deserve their own #. Seriously. I decide to stay up later to enjoy the outdoors in the evening and all I get for it is 40 mosquito bites that make me look like I have Chicken Pox.
- Sand. Where does it come from? I don’t even have a sandbox, and yet, I sweep up a ton of it weekly. It’s everywhere.
- Wet clothing and laundry. Every day, my kids find a way to get wet. Then they have to change. Then they get wet, again. Then they have to change. This is a cycle that needs to end. Either stop getting wet or live with being wet. Or I need to make clothing out of plastic wrap instead. I miss the days of them running around in diapers…sometimes.
There you go. My Top Ten for this week.